Cognitive Biases and Their Relationship to Kevod (Honor/Respect)

Below is an analysis of how the 16 major cognitive biases impact the skillful practice of kevod (honor/respect), along with detailed NVC protocol SMART goals for each. Realize each human is subject to all these as each human is ultimately entitled to kevod. Discerning and acknowledging are the first steps to skillful practice. Proper attending to boundaries is also key.

1. Confirmation Bias

• • Impedes: Leads individuals to focus only on information that aligns with their preconceived notions of who “deserves” honor, ignoring evidence to the contrary.
  • Enhances: When guided by ethical frameworks, this bias can reinforce a commitment to honoring those aligned with deeply held values.
  • Neutral: If balanced by humility and curiosity.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when I prioritize evidence confirming my biases about who deserves honor.
  • Feeling: I feel concerned when I overlook others’ contributions.
  • Need: I need fairness and awareness to practice kevod impartially.
  • Request: I request myself to ask, “What am I missing?” before forming judgments about others’ worthiness.
  • SMART Goal: Daily, I will write down one interaction where I consciously honor someone whose merits I previously overlooked, reflecting on biases influencing my perception.

2. Anchoring Bias

• • Impedes: Fixating on initial impressions of someone may prevent recognizing their evolving character or contributions.
  • Enhances: Positive first impressions can inspire consistent respect.
  • Neutral: When balanced by ongoing reassessment.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when my first impression overly influences my interactions.
  • Feeling: I feel regret when I miss opportunities to honor someone’s growth.
  • Need: I need adaptability in my evaluation of others.
  • Request: I request myself to review one interaction weekly to reassess initial judgments.
  • SMART Goal: Set a weekly alarm to reflect on interactions and update perceptions based on recent behaviors.

3. Availability Heuristic

• • Impedes: Makes individuals rely on readily available examples of disrespect or honor,
    ignoring broader patterns.
  • Enhances: If previous acts of honor are top of mind, they encourage consistent respect.
  • Neutral: With a balanced approach to memory retrieval.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when readily available memories shape my sense of someone’s worth.
  • Feeling: I feel uneasy when my judgments lack depth.
  • Need: I need a comprehensive understanding of others’ actions.
  • Request: I request myself to pause and recall less obvious examples of others’ merits.
  • SMART Goal: Create a habit of writing down three examples of someone’s positive contributions before forming an opinion on their worthiness for honor. Realize if you cannot list three, it may be your own lacking of discerning (din).

4. Overconfidence Bias

• • Impedes: Leads to dismissing others’ input and believing oneself solely worthy of honor.
  • Enhances: Confidence in one’s ability to honor others can motivate respectful behavior.
  • Neutral: When combined with humility.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when I assume my perspective is unquestionably correct.
  • Feeling: I feel cautious when my overconfidence risks dishonoring others.
  • Need: I need self-awareness and humility to honor others effectively.
  • Request: I request myself to ask for feedback on how I show respect.
  • SMART Goal: Monthly, I will seek input from three trusted people on whether my actions convey honor.

5. Loss Aversion

• • Impedes: Fear of “losing face” can lead to defensiveness, limiting one’s ability to honor others authentically.
  • Enhances: A desire to maintain respect can motivate careful attention to others’ dignity.
  • Neutral: If managed thoughtfully.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when fear of losing face inhibits my ability to honor others.
  • Feeling: I feel anxious when I fear appearing diminished by showing respect.
  • Need: I need courage and self-assurance to honor others freely.
  • Request: I request myself to reframe honoring others as a strength, not a loss.
  • SMART Goal: Practice reframing five situations weekly where I feel reluctant to honor someone due to loss aversion.

6. Hindsight Bias

• • Impedes: May lead to overestimating past dishonor or underestimating opportunities to honor others.
  • Enhances: Reflecting on positive interactions can guide future actions.
  • Neutral: When past lessons are applied judiciously.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when hindsight diminishes someone’s contributions.
  • Feeling: I feel regret when I misjudge someone’s efforts.
  • Need: I need clarity in evaluating past interactions.
  • Request: I request myself to write down lessons learned from past mistakes in honoring others.
  • SMART Goal: Weekly, identify one situation where hindsight affected my judgment and outline a strategy for future improvement.

7. Sunk Cost Fallacy

• • Impedes: Continuing to honor someone undeserving due to past efforts can compromise authenticity.
  • Enhances: Commitment to long-term relationships can reinforce respect.
  • Neutral: When paired with discernment.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when I honor someone based solely on past efforts.
  • Feeling: I feel torn when I uphold inauthentic respect.
  • Need: I need authenticity in my expressions of honor.
  • Request: I request myself to reassess relationships regularly for genuine respect.
  • SMART Goal: Quarterly, review key relationships to ensure my honor is authentic and aligned with present dynamics.

8. Framing Effect

• • Impedes: Different presentations of someone’s actions may skew perceptions of their honor-worthiness.
  • Enhances: Positive framing can enhance awareness of others’ merits.
  • Neutral: If reframing is balanced by critical thinking.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when the way information is framed shapes my judgment unfairly.
  • Feeling: I feel motivated to correct biases.
  • Need: I need accurate and balanced views of others.
  • Request: I request myself to actively seek alternative perspectives.
  • SMART Goal: Weekly, reframe two judgments I make about others to practice balanced honor. This is not to excuse your judgement but to refine it as you may be more discerning at this point.

9. Clustering Illusion

• • Impedes: May lead to false patterns about who “deserves” honor based on coincidences.
  • Enhances: Recognizing legitimate patterns of respectful behavior supports kevod.
  • Neutral: When accompanied by skepticism.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when I perceive patterns that might not exist.
  • Feeling: I feel cautious when I risk honoring others based on faulty reasoning.
  • Need: I need discernment in evaluating patterns.
  • Request: I request myself to pause and verify whether patterns I see are valid.
  • SMART Goal: Use a checklist monthly to distinguish legitimate patterns from coincidences in assessing others’ honor-worthiness.

10. Self-Serving Bias

• • Impedes: Causes individuals to take credit for positive outcomes while blaming others for negative ones, limiting their ability to honor others.
  • Enhances: A balanced sense of self-worth can contribute to showing respect for others.
  • Neutral: If balanced with humility.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when I claim credit for shared successes or blame others for failures.
  • Feeling: I feel uneasy when my actions undermine collective respect.
  • Need: I need fairness and humility to honor others appropriately.
  • Request: I request myself to acknowledge others’ contributions explicitly.
  • SMART Goal: Daily, identify one situation where I actively give credit to others for shared success.

11. Fundamental Attribution Error

• • Impedes: Misjudging others’ behaviors as reflections of character rather than circumstances can lead to withholding honor.
  • Enhances: Avoiding this error fosters empathy and respect.
  • Neutral: If accompanied by thoughtful consideration.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when I attribute someone’s actions to character instead of context.
  • Feeling: I feel regret when this causes me to disrespect others.
  • Need: I need fairness and understanding in evaluating others.
  • Request: I request myself to consider external factors influencing others’ actions.
  • SMART Goal: Before judging someone, pause and write down three possible situational explanations for their behavior, practicing this daily for a month.

12. Halo Effect

• • Impedes: Overestimating someone’s virtues based on one positive trait can lead to misplaced honor.
  • Enhances: Highlighting genuine positive traits fosters respect.
  • Neutral: If applied discerningly.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when I generalize someone’s virtue based on one trait.
  • Feeling: I feel concerned when my judgment lacks balance.
  • Need: I need accuracy in assessing others’ qualities.
  • Request: I request myself to evaluate someone holistically.
  • SMART Goal: Monthly, reflect on three instances where I corrected overly positive assumptions and ensured balanced respect.

13. Horn Effect

• • Impedes: Focusing on one negative trait diminishes respect for someone’s broader worth.
  • Enhances: If it reveals patterns of disrespectful behavior requiring accountability.
  • Neutral: If combined with discernment.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when one flaw dominates my perception of someone.
  • Feeling: I feel regret when this diminishes my ability to honor them.
  • Need: I need fairness and a balanced view.
  • Request: I request myself to acknowledge others’ strengths alongside flaws.
  • SMART Goal: Write down three strengths of anyone I criticize, practicing this weekly for six months.

14. Bandwagon Effect

• • Impedes: Following social trends can result in honoring or dishonoring others without personal judgment.
  • Enhances: Joining others in honoring deserving individuals strengthens community respect.
  • Neutral: If guided by personal values.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when I honor or dishonor others based on social pressure.
  • Feeling: I feel uncertain when my judgments lack authenticity.
  • Need: I need independence in my expressions of honor.
  • Request: I request myself to validate my actions against personal values before joining a group dynamic.
  • SMART Goal: Practice writing down my reasons for honoring someone in a group setting weekly to ensure alignment with my values.

15. Status Quo Bias

• • Impedes: Resistance to change may prevent extending honor to individuals who challenge norms.
  • Enhances: Consistently honoring traditional values can preserve respect within a community.
  • Neutral: If balanced with openness to growth.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when I resist honoring someone due to their challenge to the status quo.
  • Feeling: I feel concerned when this limits fairness.
  • Need: I need openness to change while respecting traditions.
  • Request: I request myself to seek out opportunities to honor someone challenging norms if their actions align with justice.
  • SMART Goal: Monthly, identify one person outside my comfort zone and practice honoring their contributions.

16. Optimism Bias

• • Impedes: Overestimating the likelihood of others’ positive intentions may lead to misplaced honor.
  • Enhances: Believing in others’ potential fosters encouragement and respect.
  • Neutral: When combined with realistic assessments.

OFNR SMART Goal:

• • Observation: Notice when excessive optimism clouds my judgment of someone’s actions.
  • Feeling: I feel cautious when my assessments lack realism.
  • Need: I need a balanced perspective to honor others wisely.
  • Request: I request myself to pair optimism with careful observation of behavior over time.
  • SMART Goal: Create a habit of journaling one instance per week where I balance optimism with evidence-based respect.