The Mussar trait of sh’tikah (silence) and the Buddhist practice of Right Speech share common ethical principles centered on mindful communication, restraint, and the cultivation of inner virtues. However, they differ in their underlying metaphysical foundations, goals, and cultural contexts. Let’s examine these similarities and differences in detail:
1. Ethical Purpose
| Sh’tikah (Mussar): In the Jewish Mussar tradition, sh’tikah is about practicing silence and restraint in speech. It encourages the careful weighing of words, promoting speech that is beneficial, peaceful, and true. Silence is seen as a path to developing humility, self-discipline, and reflection on one’s inner world. It’s an exercise in controlling one’s inclinations (yetzer hara) and avoiding harmful speech, such as lashon hara (negative speech about others). | Right Speech (Buddhism): Right Speech, a component of the Noble Eightfold Path, focuses on the ethical use of language. It emphasizes speaking truthfully, avoiding divisive, harsh, or frivolous speech, and ensuring that one’s words promote harmony, kindness, and understanding. In Buddhism, Right Speech is directly tied to avoiding negative karmic consequences and moving toward enlightenment by fostering compassion and non-harm. |
2. Relationship to Silence
| Sh’tikah: Silence in the Mussar tradition isn’t simply the absence of speech, but a cultivated state where one refrains from unnecessary or harmful words. It implies not only holding back from hurtful speech but also using silence as a tool for personal growth, introspection, and wisdom. Sh’tikah can be practiced even in the presence of others by choosing when and how to speak meaningfully. | Right Speech: Silence is not explicitly mandated in Buddhism under Right Speech, but implied as a wise choice when one cannot speak in alignment with the ethical guidelines of truthfulness, kindness, and non-harm. Buddhist teachings often highlight the value of “noble silence” as part of deeper meditative and ethical practice, fostering inner awareness and mindfulness. |
3. Mindfulness and Intention
| Sh’tikah: In Mussar, silence serves as a means to avoid impulsive or destructive speech, which could arise from anger, pride, or selfishness. It helps a person align their words with their yetzer tov (good inclination). Sh’tikah is closely tied to kavannah (intention) — one’s internal motives for speaking are as important as the external content. | Right Speech: Mindfulness in Buddhism is central to Right Speech, as it requires continuous awareness of one’s mental states and intentions before speaking. Speech should be free from the defilements of anger, hatred, or ignorance. The practice involves being fully present and ensuring that communication is an expression of compassion and wisdom. |
4. Speech as a Tool for Inner Growth
| Sh’tikah: In Mussar, refraining from excessive or damaging speech allows one to cultivate anavah (humility), savlanut (patience), and binah (understanding). Silence helps in refining one’s internal virtues, creating space to reflect on how speech affects others and the self. It’s a way to become more self-aware and connected to the divine ethical principles found in Torah. | Right Speech: For Buddhists, Right Speech is a key aspect of the path toward samma-sambodhi (right understanding) and liberation from dukkha (suffering). It is part of a holistic approach to ethical living and mental purification, reducing harmful karma while nurturing metta (loving-kindness) and karuna (compassion). |
5. Impact on Relationships
| Sh’tikah: In a social context, sh’tikah aims to foster shalom bayit (peace in the household) and harmonious relationships by preventing conflicts that arise from gossip, anger, or arrogance. The principle encourages thinking before speaking and highlights the power of words in shaping communal life. Speech is seen as a sacred act that reflects one’s relationship with God and others. | Right Speech: Right Speech is similarly concerned with promoting harmony and preventing discord, but it is deeply rooted in the Buddhist emphasis on non-attachment and non-self. By practicing Right Speech, one lessens ego-driven behavior, reducing suffering and creating connections based on compassion and understanding, without clinging to the outcomes of those interactions. |
6. Spiritual Dimension
| Sh’tikah: In Mussar, speech (and silence) is intertwined with the divine covenant. Words carry a sacred weight, and silence often connects to a deeper listening to God and the wisdom found in Torah. The act of refraining from speech can help attune a person to the divine presence and open them to greater spiritual insight. | Right Speech: In Buddhism, while speech is part of ethical conduct, its ultimate purpose is to aid in the cessation of suffering and the realization of nirvana. There is no divine entity governing speech, but rather a focus on ethical conduct as a means of cultivating wisdom and compassion in a selfless pursuit of enlightenment. |
7. Common Pitfalls:
| Sh’tikah: The near enemy of sh’tikah might be passivity or avoidance. If taken too far, silence can be used to evade responsibility or suppress needed confrontation. True sh’tikah balances restraint with the responsibility to speak up for justice or truth when required. | Right Speech: A common pitfall in Right Speech can be over-righteousness or spiritual bypassing, where individuals may rigidly adhere to the form of right communication without cultivating the underlying compassion or wisdom, leading to a legalistic or superficial application of the principle. |
Summary of Key Differences:
- Metaphysical context:
| Sh’tikah involves a relationship with God and Torah ethics | while Right Speech is rooted in the Buddhist goal of liberation from suffering and karma. |
- Ultimate goal:
| Mussar’s sh’tikah aims at personal and communal moral refinement before God | ,whereas Right Speech is directed toward the cessation of suffering and the realization of non-self. |
Both sh’tikah and Right Speech emphasize the ethical and mindful use of words as fundamental to spiritual growth. However, they diverge in their broader religious aims: Mussar’s theocentric framework contrasts with Buddhism’s self-transcendent focus.
To effectively counteract the common pitfalls of sh’tikah (Mussar) and Right Speech (Buddhism), I will provide S.M.A.R.T. goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) for each practice. These goals will help practitioners avoid the potential traps of passivity and avoidance in sh’tikah, and over-righteousness or spiritual bypassing in Right Speech. I will integrate these into detailed, year-long S.M.A.R.T. goals to ensure practical implementation.
- Sh’tikah goals involve
- daily reflections,
- monthly accountability check-ins, and
- weekly assertive speech practice.
- Right Speech goals include mindfulness before
- speaking,
- daily journaling,
- weekly compassion meditation, and
- weekly reflections.
References:
- Mussar Texts: The concept of sh’tikah is drawn from classic Mussar literature, such as Rabbi Israel Salanter’s “Ohr Yisrael” and Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto’s “Mesillat Yesharim” (The Path of the Just), which emphasize inner discipline, truth, and humility in speech.
- Buddhist Texts: The teachings on Right Speech are outlined in the Pali Canon, particularly in the “Samma Vaca” discourse, and are expanded upon in works like Thich Nhat Hanh’s The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching, which highlights mindfulness and compassion in speech.
By following these S.M.A.R.T. goals, practitioners can overcome the common pitfalls of sh’tikah and Right Speech, ensuring that silence and speech are used ethically, mindfully, and with compassion throughout the year.
Pitfall Description:
While sh’tikah (silence) is virtuous in many contexts, it can lead to passivity or avoidance when one refrains from speaking up in situations where action or confrontation is necessary, such as addressing injustice or defending others.
S.M.A.R.T. Goals to Counteract Passivity:
Specific:
- Daily Reflection Journal: At the end of each day, reflect on moments when silence was practiced. Identify whether sh’tikah was appropriate (for inner discipline or peace) or if it avoided necessary action. Make note of when silence could have led to passivity or avoidance.
Measurable:- Monthly Accountability Partner Check-ins: Once a month, review your reflections with an accountability partner or a mentor. Discuss moments where silence could have resulted in passivity. Set goals for being more assertive when needed.
Achievable:
- Incremental Assertive Speech: Choose at least one situation per week in which you would normally remain silent but recognize that speaking up is necessary (e.g., addressing a minor issue at work or in a relationship). Practice asserting your point respectfully and with kindness.
Relevant:
- This goal directly combats the tendency toward avoidance by building self-awareness in moments where silence is used to evade conflict or discomfort. It is deeply connected to the Mussar virtue of emet (truth) and the obligation to uphold justice, not only in speech but also through necessary action.
Time-bound:
- Weekly Goal Setting and Review: Each week, set a specific goal of one instance where you will practice assertive, necessary speech instead of remaining silent. At the end of the year, review your progress with your accountability partner.
Pitfall Description:
Right Speech, when rigidly applied without deep compassion or self-awareness, can turn into over-righteousness or spiritual bypassing. This occurs when one adheres to the rules of “right” communication without considering the spirit of understanding and compassion behind the practice.
S.M.A.R.T. Goals to Counteract Over-Righteousness:
Specific:
- Mindfulness Practice Before Speaking: Each day, take 1-2 minutes before important conversations (e.g., with colleagues, family, or friends) to practice mindfulness of intention. Focus on whether your upcoming speech comes from a place of compassion and wisdom rather than judgment or adherence to rigid rules.
Measurable:
- Daily Compassion Journal: At the end of each day, write about instances where you practiced Right Speech. Specifically reflect on whether your speech was motivated by genuine compassion or if it felt more rigid, as though following rules for their own sake.
Achievable:
- Weekly Meditation on Compassion: Incorporate a specific 20-minute compassion meditation (metta) practice at least once per week to deepen your sense of loving-kindness toward others. This will support more compassionate speech in daily life.
Relevant:
- This goal is aligned with the Buddhist teachings on karuna (compassion) and metta (loving-kindness), and it counters the tendency toward over-righteousness by reinforcing the need to balance ethical speech with empathy.
Time-bound:
- Weekly Check-Ins on Compassion: Each week, set aside time to reflect on one specific conversation or situation where you applied mindfulness to avoid rigid speech. At the end of the year, assess your growth by reviewing your daily journal and meditation practices.
Some observations from yogic and Buddhist sites.
: Enunciate clearly and speak deliberately. When we feel nervous or uncertain, we may talk in circles, trail-off, or speak quickly. This makes it difficult for others to hear us, leading to frustration on both ends. Pause, take a breath, and speak precisely. It is better to take your time and convey your message loud and clear, than to rush through a conversation and leave with more confusion than when you started.
From < https://journeymeditation.com/practicing-6-points-of-mindful-speech>
: Speak slowly and without aggression. The important distinction here is to be mindful of if we tend to hand our words to others, or throw them. Becoming aware of how words are delivered is just as important as the words themselves, as this affects the tone and emotional atmosphere of the conversation. Communication is not only about what we say to others, but perhaps more importantly, how we make them feel.
From < https://journeymeditation.com/practicing-6-points-of-mindful-speech>
: Choose words well. Building on the first point, it is important to be clear and direct. We tend to add filler words or ramble (especially when nervous or insecure), which distracts from the actual message we want to deliver. Instead of talking for the sake of talking, practice viewing words as precious and choose them with intention
From < https://journeymeditation.com/practicing-6-points-of-mindful-speech>
: Honor silence as a valuable part of speech. This point is particularly relevant in the age of technology, where moments of pure silence are rare as we remain plugged in to email, social media, and games. This has caused us to view silence as something to be avoided at all costs, especially when we are with others. A natural lull in the conversation is usually branded as an ‘awkward silence,’ but what if we viewed this as an opportunity to pause and notice our thoughts instead of clamoring to find words? Becoming comfortable with silence, and allowing our words to be informed by a bit of space, will create a more meaningful conversation than simply talking just to fill the silence.
From < https://journeymeditation.com/practicing-6-points-of-mindful-speech>
: Really listen to others. Pay attention to not only what they are saying, but the texture, tone, and quality of their speech. Be fully present and notice any nonverbal elements they are expressing, as these can carry valuable information. When we observe others in this way, it helps us to really understand their emotions, feelings, and intentions beyond what their words alone suggest. When others sense that we are truly present and listening to them (instead of just nodding while planning out a reply in our heads!), we can build trust and connection.
From < https://journeymeditation.com/practicing-6-points-of-mindful-speech>
f: Be mindful of your own speech. By paying close attention to what we are saying, and how we are saying it, we can ensure that it is in alignment with our intentions and feelings. A self check-in can help us notice the sensations that arise when we are speaking– are we delivering the complete message that we want to send? By practicing this mindful awareness, we can use our speech to clarify, unite, and uplift those with whom we are communicating.
From < https://journeymeditation.com/practicing-6-points-of-mindful-speech>
Gossiping seems to be an addiction. It’s so often what our conversations turn to. But most of the time, gossip serves only to divide. Talking trash about people who aren’t present isolates them, without giving them an opportunity to defend themselves. It is always one-sided.
There are times, of course, when speaking about a person who isn’t present, out of concern for their welfare, is appropriate. It is also appropriate to talk about others when the intention is to bring people together. Malicious gossip is a toxic pattern however, and serves no purpose other than to create division.
Try not speaking negatively about anyone who isn’t present. Is this challenging? How does it change your conversations?
We’ve all heard the old trope about sticks and stones. I would counter that words do have tremendous potential to harm us. The residue from another’s harsh words can last for years. Angry and harsh speech is an act of violence. When we speak harshly to another person, the point is to inflict pain. Quite often angry speech can spiral out of control, so that what spills out isn’t even true.
In his book, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching, Thich Nhat Hanh suggests that when we feel the impulse to speak out of anger, that we instead step back and ask if we can continue our conversation later. This gives our anger a chance to cool so that we can return to the conversation at a time when we can speak with more clarity and respect.
There’s a Pali word for useless speech that is a prime example of onomatopoeia: sampappalapa. Sampappalapa is the act of talking just to talk, inserting oneself into a conversation with something unrelated or unnecessary, often just to assert our presence.
As an introvert, I’m not a person who tends to prattle on or interrupt conversations. However, as a person who grew up in a family that often spoke in snark, in certain company, I can definitely toss out one-liners with the best of them. The longer I practice right speech, the more I realize that most of these one-liners aren’t necessary, and sometimes they can even get me into trouble. Sometimes they can be hurtful.
When you’re in conversation, consider whether what you’re about to say actually adds to what is being said.
There are appropriate and inappropriate times for certain types of speech. For example, while I confess to a bit of a swearing habit in casual conversation, I try to refrain from using possibly offensive words when I’m teaching yoga. Or at least, I try. I also try to tamp down my snarky tendencies in professional situations.
An associate of mine believes it is important to tell it like it is. While it is a worthy goal to maintain honesty in relationships, personal grievances are best aired in one-on-one conversation. Time and again, this person has called down others—including me—with personal grievances during work-related situations in front of other colleagues. This not only humiliates the object of her ire, but it also makes others extremely uncomfortable as they witness what should be a personal matter between two people.
When you feel a need to air a grievance or make a snide comment, consider not only whether it is necessary at all, but also whether the situation is appropriate.
b.r.a.v.e can also be a.c.t’ed on as: https://ppinaction.com/blog/f/braving-the-7-elements-of-trust