Based on the article “7 Enemies of Gratitude” and interpreting it through the lens of “hakarat hatov,” here are Nonviolent Communication (NVC) OFNR SMART goals tailored to overcome each of the near enemies of gratitude:
By addressing these “near enemies” with tailored actions, the practice of hakarat hatov can become more integrated into daily life.
Here’s practical SMART goals from the lens of IFS and NVC to mitigate these near enemies:
| Enemy of Gratitude | IFS Analysis (Parts & Wounds) | NVC OFNR | SMART Goal |
| Self-Pity | Parts: Protector shields an exile feeling unseen or undervalued. Wounds: Exile carries beliefs of being unworthy or overlooked. |
Observation: Self-pity shields an exile. Feeling: Trapped, overwhelmed. Need: Validation and self-recognition. Request: Practice gratitude journaling to reframe negative experiences. |
Specific: Write 3 gratitude points daily. Measurable: Journal consistently. Achievable: Use structured prompts. Relevant: Builds self-validation. Time-bound: Assess after 1 month. |
| Complaining | Parts: Critical part seeks validation for unheard exile. Wounds: Exile feels neglected or invalidated. |
Observation: Complaining seeks connection. Feeling: Dissatisfied, frustrated. Need: To feel heard. Request: Replace complaints with conscious positive sharing. |
Specific: Share one uplifting thought for every complaint. Measurable: Track positive sharing. Achievable: Use daily reminders. Relevant: Shifts focus from negativity. Time-bound: Reassess after 3 weeks. |
| Comparing | Parts: Comparison-driven part seeks validation. Wounds: Exile carries feelings of inadequacy. |
Observation: Comparing fosters envy. Feeling: Inadequate, resentful. Need: Recognition of intrinsic worth. Request: Focus on personal growth over external comparisons. |
Specific: Reflect weekly on personal progress. Measurable: Record reflections. Achievable: Use reminders. Relevant: Builds self-worth. Time-bound: Evaluate after 6 weeks. |
| Isolation | Parts: Protector isolates to avoid rejection. Wounds: Exile carries abandonment or loneliness wounds. |
Observation: Isolation diminishes connection. Feeling: Lonely, disconnected. Need: Community and belonging. Request: Foster meaningful interactions weekly. |
Specific: Reach out weekly to express gratitude. Measurable: Log outreach efforts. Achievable: Use texts or calls. Relevant: Builds connections. Time-bound: Reassess after 2 months. |
| Hectic Pace | Parts: Managerial part drives busyness to avoid unresolved emotions. Wounds: Exile feels purposeless without constant action. |
Observation: A busy pace distracts. Feeling: Rushed, stressed. Need: Mindfulness and reflection. Request: Integrate regular mindfulness breaks. |
Specific: Take two 5-minute mindfulness breaks daily. Measurable: Track practice with a timer. Achievable: Incorporate into routine. Relevant: Promotes clarity. Time-bound: Assess after 30 days. |
| Entitlement | Parts: Protector uses entitlement to shield an exile from deprivation. Wounds: Exile feels neglected or lacking. | Observation: Entitlement blocks gratitude. Feeling: Unfulfilled, resentful. Need: Recognition of others’ contributions. Request: Practice verbal gratitude daily. |
Specific: Thank one person daily. Measurable: Log gratitude expressions. Achievable: Use daily interactions. Relevant: Builds appreciation. Time-bound: Evaluate after 2 weeks. |
| Lack of Sleep | Parts: Managerial part sacrifices sleep to maintain control. Wounds: Exile carries anxiety or fear of inadequacy. |
Observation: Sleep deprivation impairs gratitude. Feeling: Fatigued, unfocused. Need: Restorative sleep. Request: Prioritize consistent bedtime routines. |
Specific: Create a calming pre-sleep routine. Measurable: Track sleep quality. Achievable: Adjust evening habits. Relevant: Enhances mindfulness. Time-bound: Reassess after 3 weeks. |
This table consolidates the analysis and SMART goals, making it easier to understand and apply each step to address the “Enemies of Gratitude” through the lenses of IFS and NVC.