http://www.emotionalcompetency.com/responsibility.htm (for the column in question)
1. Avoiding Responsibility Specific: Commit to acknowledging one area of responsibility daily, whether it’s a small household task or a work duty.
Measurable: Track daily acknowledgments in a journal.
Achievable: Start with small tasks, gradually moving to larger responsibilities over time.
Relevant: Builds awareness and acceptance of responsibility.
Time-bound: Review progress every Mussar cycle where #achrayut reoccurs.
2. Making Excuses Specific: Each time a mistake is made, focus on stating only what happened, without justifying or deflecting.
Measurable: Track instances of error reporting without excuses (or judging) in a journal.
Achievable: Begin with minor mistakes to practice self-restraint, building up to more significant instances.
Relevant: Encourages direct acceptance of responsibility without deflection.
Time-bound: Reflect during for the week during the cycle.
3. Blaming Others Specific: For every criticism or frustration, take three minutes to reflect on any personal contributions to the issue.
Measurable: Document reflections on personal role in any conflict.
Achievable: Start with minor conflicts, applying the strategy more broadly over time.
Relevant: Helps shift focus from blame to shared accountability.
Time-bound: Implement this practice daily for the week of the cycle.
4. Denying Responsibility Specific: For any situation where responsibility is in question, consciously state “I have a role in this” and identify one aspect you can control.
Measurable: Record instances of acknowledged responsibility and reflect on each during the cycle.
Achievable: Begin by applying this to small matters, then expand to more complex situations.
Relevant: Encourages proactive responsibility, enhancing awareness.
Time-bound: Review daily during the cycle.
5. Rationalizing Irresponsibility Specific: Each time a rule or norm is circumvented, reflect on how a responsible action might differ and choose one alternative behavior.
Measurable: Track instances and responsible alternatives during the cycle.
Achievable: Start with minor instances of rationalization, moving to larger ones over time.
Relevant: Builds accountability by fostering responsible alternatives.
Time-bound: Reflect on improvements daily during the cycle.
6. Minimizing the Importance Specific: Write down one reason why a task or responsibility is important before starting it. (#Truth, Purpose, Meaning, and, if possible, ahavah)
Measurable: Record reflections on importance for each responsibility.
Achievable: Begin with one task per day, building to multiple responsibilities.
Relevant: Enhances understanding of the value of each responsibility.
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- Time-bound: Implement daily during the cycle.
7. Procrastinating Specific: Each morning, list three tasks to complete and dedicate time to the first within one hour.
Measurable: Track tasks completed without delay each day.
Achievable: Begin with simple tasks, progressing to larger, more complex responsibilities.
Relevant: Reduces procrastination by establishing structured action.
Time-bound: Review progress daily during the cycle.
8. Failing to Plan Specific: Set aside five minutes each evening to plan three key tasks for the next day.
Measurable: Track nightly planning sessions and task completion.
Achievable: Focus on simple tasks, increasing complexity as planning becomes habitual.
Relevant: Enhances proactive responsibility through structured planning.
Time-bound: Practice daily and assess effectiveness daily during the cycle and review in the next cycle.
9. Lying or Misleading Specific: Commit to one truthful response each day, especially in difficult situations.
Measurable: Reflect on instances of honesty in challenging situations.
Achievable: Start with low-stakes situations, moving to more challenging ones over time.
Relevant: Builds integrity by cultivating honesty.
Time-bound: Practice daily during the cycle and during each cycle.
10. Cheating Specific: Consciously choose honest methods in one area of daily life, like work or finances.
Measurable: Track honest actions or decisions daily.
Achievable: Begin with small choices, moving to larger, more complex decisions.
Relevant: Reinforces ethical responsibility.
Time-bound: Practice daily during the cycle and review during subsequent cycles.
11. Stealing Specific: Commit to respecting others’ belongings and explicitly asking permission for any use of shared items.
Measurable: Track instances of respectful handling of others’ property. Note unmet personal needs that might trigger missing the mark.
Achievable: Start with personal or work-related belongings.
Relevant: Reinforces respect for others’ property and rights.
Time-bound: Implement daily during the cycle.
12. Exploiting Others Specific: Practice offering gratitude or reciprocation in situations where help is received from others.
Measurable: Document instances of reciprocation or appreciation weekly. Appreciation has degrees: discern, acknowledge, then appreciate. Be aware of when parity becomes an unmet need. Acknowledge. Request parity if possible, otherwise note the expectation and move on.
Achievable: Begin with simple situations, expanding as appreciation becomes habitual.
Relevant: Cultivates respect and prevents exploitation.
Time-bound: Practice daily during the cycle and review in subsequent cycles.
13. Refusing to Admit Mistakes Specific: Each week, identify and admit to one minor mistake, either to oneself or someone else involved.
Measurable: Track admissions of mistakes in a journal. Look for “true” accidents (they happen) versus unmet needs that might trigger mistakes.
Achievable: Begin with low-stakes mistakes, building confidence to admit larger ones.
Relevant: Encourages accountability and self-awareness.
Time-bound: Reflect daily during the cycle and review in subsequent cycles.
14. Inappropriate Humor Specific: Before making a joke, assess whether it respects others and enhances the environment.
Measurable: Track instances of jokes made respectfully versus inappropriately. Note when humor is used to gain acceptance of others at the expense of someone else. Target yourself for the humor though this can become a counter transference of microaggressions. Cross check with “mistakes” made.
Achievable: Start by practicing this in one social setting, expanding to others.
Relevant: Supports responsible and respectful communication.
Time-bound: Review daily during the cycle and review in subsequent cycles.
15. Being Undependable Specific: Commit to completing one responsibility each day without delay or cancellation.
Measurable: Track daily successes in fulfilling commitments.
Achievable: Begin with minor commitments, building consistency over time.
Relevant: Builds reliability and trustworthiness.
Time-bound: Assess consistency daily during the cycle and review in subsequent cycles.
Each of these S.M.A.R.T. goals targets a specific “less responsible” behavior, fostering growth in responsibility and integrity. By developing these practices, individuals can gradually replace counterproductive habits with responsible and constructive ones.