Smart Jewish Studies

Cognitive biases, Jungian shadows of chesed and s.m.a.r.t goals to overcome said impediments for chesed

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by

Kevin
in , ,

Chesed, often translated as “loving-kindness” or “compassion,” is essential in Mussar as it represents selfless care and active benevolence toward others. Skillful practice of chesed requires navigating both cognitive biases and Jungian shadows, which can obscure this virtue’s expression. Here’s an analysis of these impediments along with S.M.A.R.T. goals to mitigate them.

Cognitive Biases Impeding Chesed

    1. Empathy Gap
      • Description: This bias leads people to underestimate the emotional impact of an experience on others when they are not currently experiencing it themselves. In practicing chesed, one may misjudge others’ needs or hardships.
      • Impact on Chesed: The empathy gap may cause one to offer assistance in ways that feel less effective or even dismissive to those in need, reducing the effectiveness of chesed.
    2. Confirmation Bias
      • Description: People tend to seek information that confirms their existing beliefs and ignore contradictory evidence. In chesed, this can result in selective support only toward those whom one views favorably.
      • Impact on Chesed: Confirmation bias can narrow the scope of kindness, causing one to overlook those with differing views or backgrounds, limiting the unconditional aspect of chesed.
    3. Self-Serving Bias
      • Description: The tendency to attribute positive events to one’s actions and negative events to external factors. When helping others, it can lead one to focus on personal gain or recognition.
      • Impact on Chesed: This bias may undermine the altruistic nature of chesed, as actions may shift toward self-validation rather than genuine care.
    4. Halo Effect
      • Description: This is the tendency to let one positive trait influence our perception of unrelated characteristics. For chesed, this can mean offering more kindness to those we admire or deem “worthy.”
      • Impact on Chesed: Chesed may become conditional or hierarchical, reducing its universal nature.

Jungian Shadows That Impede Chesed

    1. The Shadow of Judgment
      • Description: This shadow aspect may express as a tendency to judge others, often masking unacknowledged judgments about oneself.
      • Impact on Chesed: If chesed is filtered through judgment, the kindness extended may come across as conditional or condescending, creating emotional distance.
    2. The Shadow of Over-Identification
      • Description: This shadow emerges when one over-identifies with others’ suffering, leading to an enmeshment that drains personal resources.
      • Impact on Chesed: Over-identification can blur boundaries, leading to burnout and potentially making the recipient of kindness feel burdened by the helper’s emotional involvement.
    3. The Shadow of Resentment
      • Description: This shadow can arise when one’s kindness is unacknowledged or taken for granted, leading to feelings of resentment.
      • Impact on Chesed: Resentment clouds authentic kindness, shifting focus toward personal validation and undermining the selfless nature of chesed.
    4. The Martyr Complex
      • Description: This shadow causes one to act as though self-sacrifice is a necessary component of kindness, often out of unrecognized guilt or a desire for approval.
      • Impact on Chesed: Instead of empowering recipients, this complex can create dependencies and an unhealthy savior dynamic, distorting the nature of chesed.

S.M.A.R.T. Goals to Overcome Impediments

Goal 1: Develop Greater Empathy and Reduce the Empathy Gap Specific: Each day, dedicate five minutes to imagining the challenges and perspectives of a person you will likely encounter, focusing especially on those with different backgrounds.

    1. Measurable: Track daily reflections on this exercise in a journal, noting insights gained.
    2. Achievable: Start with one person a day, gradually expanding to different individuals over time.
    3. Relevant: This goal increases awareness of others’ emotional experiences, enhancing the authenticity of chesed.
    4. Time-bound: Practice this exercise daily for one month, then review journal entries to assess growth in empathy.

Goal 2: Address Confirmation Bias Through Diverse Acts of Kindness Specific: Once a week, perform an act of chesed for someone who holds different values or opinions from your own.

    1. Measurable: Keep a record of these actions, noting any discomfort or new understanding that arises.
    2. Achievable: Focus initially on simple acts, like helping a neighbor or colleague with a different perspective.
    3. Relevant: Breaking confirmation bias fosters a more universal and non-judgmental approach to chesed.
    4. Time-bound: Continue this weekly practice for three months, then review to assess increased openness.

Goal 3: Cultivate Humility to Counteract the Self-Serving Bias Specific: After performing an act of chesed, pause to reflect on the needs it met and acknowledge any feelings of pride or self-validation.

    1. Measurable: Journal reflections, noting each time you catch and reframe self-serving thoughts.
    2. Achievable: Set aside five minutes after each act of kindness to practice this reflection.
    3. Relevant: This exercise deepens self-awareness and shifts focus from self-serving to genuine altruism.
    4. Time-bound: Reflect on each act of kindness for two months and assess any shift in motivation.

Goal 4: Balance Boundaries to Avoid the Shadow of Over-Identification Specific: Create a personal boundary statement to recite before extending kindness, reinforcing the need to respect both personal and others’ autonomy.

    1. Measurable: Track the occasions where boundary affirmation helped maintain emotional separation.
    2. Achievable: This requires brief pre-thought and mental repetition, easily incorporated.
    3. Relevant: Setting boundaries fosters healthier, more sustainable acts of kindness.
    4. Time-bound: Practice this for every act of chesed over six weeks, then evaluate for emotional resilience.

Goal 5: Recognize and Reframe Resentment to Address the Shadow of Martyrdom Specific: After each act of kindness, check for feelings of resentment. If it arises, reframe the experience by recalling the core value of selfless chesed.

    1. Measurable: Document instances of resentment and reframing techniques in a journal.
    2. Achievable: Begin with a short review after each act and gradually deepen as needed.
    3. Relevant: This goal keeps chesed centered on true compassion rather than hidden expectations.
    4. Time-bound: Practice for three months, and review journal entries to gauge improvement.

These S.M.A.R.T. goals aim to foster more balanced, universal, and self-aware chesed by addressing both internal biases and shadow dynamics. Practicing them can cultivate a more profound, skillful expression of chesed, aligned with Mussar principles of authentic, loving-kindness.