S.m.a.r.t goals
1. Develop Evolving Awareness in Conversations Specific: Actively engage in two key conversations per week where you consciously focus on how truth evolves during the dialogue.
1. Mindfulness to Loosen Perfectionism
Specific: Set aside 10 minutes daily for mindfulness meditation to develop self-awareness and reduce attachment to perfectionism in Emet practice.
1. Specific Goal: Identify and Challenge Initial Impressions (Anchoring Bias)
S: Each day, reflect on at least one situation where you felt inclined to rely on your first impression. Actively question whether your first judgment was accurate and seek additional information.
2. Daily Meditation on Changing Perspectives Specific: Dedicate 10 minutes daily to meditate on how perspectives on truth change throughout the day.
2. Specific Goal: Cultivate Resilience in Facing Difficult Truths (Optimism Bias)
S: Once per week, engage in a Mussar practice session where you reflect on a challenging truth about yourself or a situation, noting where optimism may have clouded your perception of reality.
2. T.H.I.N.K. Reflection
Specific: Apply the T.H.I.N.K. framework before important communications (at least 3 times per week).
3. IFS Self-Inquiry
Specific: Perform a 20-minute IFS self-inquiry session twice weekly to explore perfectionist parts. [Top of page]
3. Specific Goal: Practice Empathy and Avoid Attributing Character Flaws (Fundamental Attribution Error)
S: When faced with a difficult interaction, practice empathy by considering at least one situational factor that may have influenced the other person’s behavior. Do this for at least two interactions per week.
3. Weekly Reflection on Changing Dynamics in Relationships
Specific: Reflect weekly on a relationship where your understanding of shared truth evolved.
4. Incorporate Flexibility in Emet-Driven Decisions
Specific: When making important decisions, pause to reconsider evolving truths at least twice during the process.
4. NVC for Shared/Non-Shared Needs
Specific: Use NVC to negotiate shared/non-shared needs in key relationships (weekly).
4. Specific Goal: Strengthen Commitment to Truth through Repetition (Mere Exposure Effect)
S: Engage with teachings about Emet for at least 10 minutes per day by reading or listening to Mussar texts (e.g., Mesillat Yesharim, Chovot HaLevavot) or reflecting on specific passages related to truth.
5. Jungian Shadow Work
Specific: Engage in shadow work through journaling once a week to identify unconscious attachment to perfection.
5. Specific Goal: Cultivate Radical Honesty in Speech
S: Commit to speaking with full honesty during at least one challenging conversation each week, ensuring your words align with your inner truth without exaggeration or evasion.
S.M.A.R.T. Goal for Integrating the Shadow
S: Once a week, engage in shadow work by identifying one trait in others that irritates or bothers you. Reflect on whether this is a projection of your own shadow.
S.M.A.R.T. Goal for Integrating the Shadow of the Anima/Animus
S: Identify one instance per day where you suppressed either emotion (Anima) or logic (Animus). Write down how you can bring a more balanced response next time.
S.M.A.R.T. Goal for Integrating the Shadow of the Hero
S: Reflect on one situation per week where you felt self-righteous in your pursuit of truth. Consider how humility could have informed your approach.
S.M.A.R.T. Goal for Integrating the Shadow of the Mother S: Once per week, reflect on an instance where you withheld a difficult truth to avoid hurting someone. Commit to gently sharing one difficult truth with someone close to you.
S.M.A.R.T. Goal for Integrating the Shadow of the Persona
S: In each social interaction this week, notice when you are not being authentic. Aim to express your true self in at least one interaction per day, even if it feels uncomfortable.
S.M.A.R.T. Goal for Integrating the Shadow of the Self S: Practice daily self-reflection, focusing on areas where you feel internally conflicted. Identify one way in which you can integrate opposing aspects of yourself to live more truthfully.
S.M.A.R.T. Goal for Integrating the Shadow of the Trickster S: Identify moments where you may have used humor, cleverness, or distraction to avoid the truth. Practice expressing the truth directly in one conversation per week.
S.M.A.R.T. Goal for Integrating the Shadow of the Wise Old Man/Woman
S: Once a week, reflect on a time where you used knowledge to assert dominance over others. Consider how you can use wisdom to uplift rather than diminish others.
To Do
Asymmetries of information availability
Boundaries set too large (leads to relativism) or too small (leads to dogmatism and fundamentalism)
Expectations (as bounded desires)
Conditioned (and unexamined) behavioral trust
Cultivate Open Curiosity (IFS/NVC): Develop mindfulness practices to notice when attachment to “being perfectly truthful” arises. Journaling about your fears or inner resistance can help loosen this attachment.
Embrace Dialogue in Relationships: Emphasize dialogue around shared and non-shared needs using Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Practice weekly with close ones to negotiate shared goals, truths, and vulnerabilities, especially when non-shared needs arise.
Exercise: Flow and Pause Dance
Engage in a slow, fluid dance. Periodically pause in the middle of a movement, symbolizing a decision point. After a pause, resume the movement with a slight shift to reflect new insights. This teaches physical flexibility in decisions, much like the mental flexibility needed for evolving truths.
Exercise: Mirror Movement
Stand in front of a partner and slowly mirror their movements. Let the flow of movements represent the dynamic nature of relationships and truth. Notice where your movements align and where they diverge, reflecting on evolving truths.
Exercise: Partnered Walking Meditation
Walk slowly in pairs, mirroring each other’s movements while discussing a topic. Focus on how your steps and words align or diverge, adjusting your pace to reflect shifts in the conversation. This helps physically tune into the evolving dynamics between yourself and the other person.
Exercise: Spiral Walking Path
Set up a spiral walking path. As you walk inward, reflect on how your understanding of truth narrows and focuses. On the walk outward, consider how your perspective broadens and shifts. This spiral mimics evolving thoughts and encourages adaptability.
Perceive, discern, appreciate, be grateful. Worth repeating. That’s the “truth”. Practice is (without qualification); but, without reflection becomes rote and subject to its own stress. Pratyahara which withdraws the senses inward, taking the attention from being blended (in the IFS sense) to being instruments of the Self (writ large). This is the direction of mindfulness, Jungian therapy, yoga, Buddhism and chassidut.
Practical Use: Balance respect for authority with personal responsibility to verify truth independently.
Practical Use: In everyday life, this means speaking truth based on real experiences or knowledge, avoiding assumptions or distortions.
Practical Use: In practical terms, grounding your truth in evidence-based conclusions can help avoid misleading others or yourself.
Practical Use: Regular reflection on whether your statements and actions align with your overall values promotes consistent and truthful behavior.
Practical Use: To use this in practice, evaluate the societal frameworks influencing your perception of truth and ensure that they align with higher ethical principles.
Practical Use: While societal norms can provide guidance, relying too heavily on consensus can prevent the full practice of Emet, especially when standing for truth against popular opinion.
Practical Use: You can use this theory to evaluate whether your truthful actions have a positive, practical impact on your relationships and work while being cautious of relativism.
Practice when rote becomes its own binding which eclipses larger truth.
Regular IFS Self-Inquiry: Engage in IFS work to identify parts that hold the perfectionist attachment to “approaching emet” too rigidly. Practice dialoguing with these parts and shift towards a more fluid engagement with truth.
Risk taking without practicing bitachon and other processes
Shadow Work: Acknowledge that perfectionism may have roots in unconscious needs for acceptance or fear of rejection. Integrate Jungian shadow work to explore these deeper emotional roots.
Use T.H.I.N.K Before Acting: Incorporate the T.H.I.N.K. (True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind) method before communicating. This is especially useful for balancing emet with compassion. Reflect regularly on how each conversation upholds these values.